- me: no one ever texts me
- *gets a text*
- me: wtf do you want
do i have any weird followers that want to transfer me money for absolutely no reason at all
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- me reclining in diamonds and a black velvet dress with a slit up the side on a red velvet couch covered in silk handkerchiefs with a crystal glass full of the finest liquor in one hand and the other thrown over my eyes in elegant anguish: i'm sick
siri read a message from my mom (2017)
i think we’ve gotten as close to a real life Howler as we can get